The Evolution of Marraige

downloadFlashbacks from my childhood.. *twitches.. somehow the thought of marriage was constantly brought up and engraved in my mind.. In my mind it was the solution to everything.. Even as a kid i didnt know what it meant but somehow from the way people around me were talking about it and praying for it to happen i knew I WANTED IT!

So starts STAGE 1 the OBSESSION.

UnhappyOldCouple

And you either grow up in a home with parents who didnt really love each other anymore , or never loved each to start with and are together for the kids sake and make it essential to remind their kids how much they hate each other and how they are miserable and that the reason they are together is YOU. And the only time your dad holds your mothers hands is occasionally when they are having breakfast ( fool and humus) and he asks her to pass him the ” KHUBZEH” ( bread) and he touches her hand or finger to be specific unintentionally.. you reach a point where you want to say MIN SHAN ALLAH I6alaGGGGoooo … ( For Gods SAKE GET A FREAKIN DIVORCE!”

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ORRR you are brought in a home where your parents have an AMAZING love story to share and till this day your dad flirts with your mom and praises her to you.. erm  ( not very common but surprisingly exits) Something like i knew she was the one when i saw her in school 40 years ago i still remember how her hair hair would fall perfectly on her forehead.. BLA BLA BLA. ok ok we get the point.. *not a fan of love stories anymore..

So you start to create this dream in your mind.. this mental image of how your life will be like.. how your future husband will be.. how you will never end up like your parents or how you want to have a story just like theirs..

STAGE 2  Mr Lova Lova

You meet someone.. years and years after you have already planned your life in your head. Every boy/guy you meet is instantly on

your potential 3arees SCAN check list..

cute ( check), smart ( check), funny (check) he smiles and exposes his bad yellow teeth..

city-teeth

*crumbles check list paper… 3arees eliminated..

You have waited for this person all your life.. you rejected many.. regretted some experiences.. finally HE IS HERE.. the man of your dreams.. he looks just about how you imagined him to be.. not to short that he looks up to you (literally) not too tall that even with your high heels on you need to jump to kiss him on the cheek .. he seems to share the same interests.. he seems to be interested in you.. All those photos that you have seen and said ” THIS Is how my family will be” are refreshed in your memory.

zhCIN

* AT LASST MY LOVE HAS come along.. plays in your head

Everything is in slow motion.. in 5 seconds you played your future wedding, labor as he holds your hand and asks you to push, fwd a few years later you are surrounded by cute kids and are now in the park holding hands as you push your very cute adorable not mention quiet baby in their fancy stroller… then you walk to your picnic area and you have this basket full of yummy food .. you get the picture.. back to reality now… soooo

You meet the ONE.. and everything he does makes you more and more attached to your dreams and hopes of the future. You waited so long so he HAS to be like… AMAZING!

And the love story begins.. and this is i truly the best part in any relationship.. the part where you are too happy to see the signs.. the part where you are still living in that bubble of love and are convinced that this person will NEVER ever EVA EVA EVA let you down.. This person will be the answer to yours prayers.. He will make your troubles disappear..  you are blinded by LOVE!

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He is still trying to win your heart at this stage.. so anything you say.. even is you say the stupidest things like ” ERMM you know i truly believe we all have the ability to move things with our eyes.. if i focus too much.. ermm ” he looks at you with eyes full of love ” Ohh.. you can do anything with those beautiful eyes” * giggles * blushes

info_couple

You share a fact you read in some article.. ” Did you know they found out that .. bla bla” he seems sincere when he says.. ohh REALLY i didnt know such an interesting fact!

He surprises you with gifts and flowers.. those surprises you know he really planned.. and took the time to make the gift truly personal.. takes you to a place you mentioned you loved.. got you something you’ve been wanting for so long..  You were just together but he calls you on the way home and when you are home you continue talking till you are so sleepy and he refuses to shut the phone… then there is that cheesy phase of

“inta saker.. la inti.. la inta” You shut the phone no you shut the phone..

And He cant keeps his hands off you and you are now living your UTOPIAN Dream..

STAGE 3 AL SADMA ( ZA shock)

shocked

 

So this stage comes after a long time into the relationship..  first 2 yearsa are the hardest.. usually after you are already married.. He knows he has your heart.. takes you for granted… You start to notice how he hardly talks to you anymore.. even on the phone its like there is nothing to say.. and when there is something to say it usually ends up in an argument on who is right.. you share a random fact to make conversation and he replies by things ” WHERE DO U GET YOUR FACTS FORM? Sayedati?? Zahrat al khaleej? Facebook? Do u  believe everything you READ” ermmm i was actually just trying to start a conversation..

You both have no patience for each other.. and suddenly each one of you gets on eachs others nerves.. because you are both sick of having the same exact arguments everyday..

Your kids.. oh your kids.. ya waeili.. They are not how you planned them to be.. quiet and cute.. obedient.. They are LOUD.. They DONT SLEEP.. They will drive you MAD.. Your labor.. was not a beautiful experience.. Your husband did try to hold your hand like the movies but you wanted to RIP IT OFF cause your pain was INTOLERABLE!

You are now physically a mess.. You have a billion errands to run everyday.. taking kids to school, groceries, cooking, cleaning, pick them up from school, feed them, bathe them, deal with their tantrums, make sure you don’t look scary.. you are so exhausted everyday and the least you wanna hear is something sweet… like aww i cant imagine my life without you.. you are a dream come true.. like the things you used to hear instead you hear…

” Why is there no salt in this?” ” Why did you fold my socks like that now you ruined the elastic!” ” Did you read to the kids today? You need to read to them because its important” Did you FIND that shirt i was looking for?? Im sure you lost it and maybe even gave it away by mistake like you did last time.. ermm why does the house smell like BASAL (onions)”

And at this point… you turn into… THE TERMINATOR…. WALAK SHUUUUUUUUUUU BITGOOOOL!!!!!!

terminator_salvation_new-39

 

So overall.. things are not at all the way they used to be and in the end of the day BETFAJRU Ba3d… ( you DESTROY each other)

STAGE 4 Meeting Half Way.. Acceptance.. Denial… Call it whatever you need to call it..

So yes.. you know know the truth about your relationship which is applicable to any other relationship.. its not just blind love and cuddling under the blanket as you drink hot cocoa.. Men and woman are so very different.. we are wired differently.. We see the world differently.. Woman are more emotional and Men are more Traditional..

Once you accept each others ways.. Accept that Him bringing you groceries today was actually his way of being Romantic.. Accept that He also had a dream girl in his head and maybe you too have crushed his dream.. Maybe he didn’t know woman farted… (mostly in thier sleep btw) Maybe he thought kids were just CUTE too… Maybe he thought you were a version of his mom!  Maybe he is thought a lot of things..

So Step one to fixing any relationship.. FORMAT your IDEALISTIC DREAMS.. Delete your expectations.. especially those unrealistic ones.. Start seeing the positive and not only the negative… When you see something positive POINT IT OUT to him.. dont only just yell the negative things he did or didnt do…

He will break your heart many times.. sometimes intentionally.. sometimes unintentionally.. he will make you feel like Kaka.. And you will ask yourself WHy wHY on earth DID I EVER GET MARRIED! … then you start to remember that there were indeed good times.. and that the Good will overcome the bad.. and once you let yourself forgive you will slowly learn to forget.. and the bigger your heart is.. the better the chances your marriage will work..

There is no 100 % happy marriage.. There is reality.. and lots of shit happens.. But there are things you overcome together.. that makes your bond stronger.. that makes your love move to different type of love.. it might not be like the titanic.. but it is love.. he will rush you to the hospital if you are sick or in pain.. and cry if something happens to you.. he will provide for you and your family by working all day.. to him that is the most important thing.. to give you everything you want or wish for.. he will take you out once in a while.. maybe he wont talk much but you have reached a point where even after sitting together in silence you feel you had nice conversation ( not all the time sometimes its not to have a little gerger)..

He needs you.. you need him.. You complete each other.. and you will disagree about a lot of things.. but accept each other the way you are.. Accept love in all its forms.. even if it comes in the form of la7meh mafroomeh ( minced meat) for cooking .. don’t try to change him and learn to love to love the person infront of you and let go of that fantasy in your head.. becuase frankly it does not exist… maybe fel JANNA.. ( in heaven) inshalaa :)

Maybe you can end up like this couple…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2511075/Americas-longest-married-couple-prepare-81st-wedding-anniversay.html

 

 

 

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Arab Men #20: MOTHERS

Hes-a-mammas-boymamas-boy

 

So.. the title might seem like an attack on all men. and especially a man who is his MAMMAS boy. Truth of the matter is most men are big BABIES. They grow up used to their moms treating them extra special cause they are born the PREFERRED GENDER. Just  because they are BOYS they get special treatment.

Scenario 1 :

Girl : “Baba can i go out with my friends? Mama Can i stay out late a bit??
PARENTS ” IN6amii wa uskuti waley! FISH 3andna BANAT yes-hary la nsaas il layali bara!
( SHUTUP! we dont have girls that stay out till the middle of the night)
Girl : bas akhooy ( my brother ) stays out with his friends EVERYNIGHT and i just want to go to a party that end at 9pm!! thats when my brother actually LEAVES to go out!!
PARENTS : HOWA WALAD! (HES A BOY)

okay before a lot of men get offended and start saying my parents were fair and treated me like my sisters and applied the same rules.. KNOW that you are a RARE case… in our lovely culture.. this differentiation between genders is very common.. when in ISLAM for  the same rules of HARAM and HALAL apply to both MALES and FEMALES..I’m sure that applies to all religions as well!

It’s like parents are okay when their son has a girlfriend and even invite her over to the family! But if their daughter had a boyfriend.. B6en6akh fe qadeyet SHARAF! ( she will be shot in an honour killing)
Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying girls should have boyfriends I’m totally against that. but I’m just saying parents should apply the same upbringing (tarbeya) rules to both genders equally or they will grow up resenting each other. or even worse the BOY will grow up like most of the GENERATION we have now a days..

MUDALALEEN.. (SPOILT AS HELL) and they are so used to getting the special treatment they expect it wherever they go..

Now that I’m married with 2 kids. I really do feel that at the end of the day I have not 2 but 3 kids.. I go back home and after a long day of running after my kids I have to worry about cooking for my bigger baby..and what he needs and how to make his day easier.

When he gets home instead of feeling OH SOMEONE TO HELP ME! I think OH !! I STILL HAVEN’T COOKED!! OH.. you want SHAY(tea) too ? You want me to look for your shirt? What else do you need?oh I forgot you are very TIRED? Oh the food NEEDS SALT!! KAMAN ANA AJEEBO!

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* smoke comes out of ear from ears from al ghadab.. ma ana mertaa7a.. *sarcasm*

CONCLUSION.. MEN GET OFF YOUR BUMS dont 7amel il dinya jmeeleh that you are a MAN! WOMAN DESERVE MORE APPRECIATION or at least EQUAL APPRECIATION!

I’m in a poetic mood let me try to 6ale3 my ghadab in a form of BOYEM :p

IM a WOMAN, I GET PREGNANT & carry all the weight,
Many days I couldn’t even walk straight!
I Deliver a BABY and I’m in labour for hours,
I Always WAKE UP for night feeding,have no time for showers!,
I COOK, I CLEAN, I HAVE NO TIME for READING
“STOP Hitting your sister!” I yell as i cut the carrots ! OUCH! I’M BLEEDING
I WORRY Constantly, I make sure everyone around me is CARED FOR,
Every Bone in my body aches and feels SORE!

I AM A MOTHER. I POTTY TRAIN!
Most of my days  feel like I have been hit by a TRAIN!!
I have cleaned so much poop off floors
I have given TIME OUTS behind many doors!

I have been pooped on, puked on, chewed on, spat on many times
I DO the grocery shopping yes but I have to remember you bring the DIMES!
I MADE our house a HOME, I Drop the kids to school.
I also occasionally make humus & FOOOL

So please before you belittle any WOMAN
remember that NO MAN can bear what a woman CAN
Even if he can cook FATET BETENJAN
He will never handle KOL HAL JNAAAAAAN!!

Side Note to all men.. who say they are tired at work.. and compare tired at work to a MOTHERS daily Routine.. I’ve worked before I had kids.. I had the longest job hours.. the shortest deadlines.. the highest levels of stress.. I barely got any sleep. I thought life couldn’t be any harder.. TRUTH IS no work stress is equivalent to the stress that is caused by your TODDLER! apparently I was not tired before I was fe qimit il Raaaaaa7a..

 

Its like at the end of everyday me and my huzbandee have this competition of who is more tired.Exhausted Couple at Dance Marathon
I say something like ” I have a headache”
Him : aah meee tooo
Me : I can barely walk from my back pain
Him : Do you know where my Cane is my knee is hurting again
Me : oh today I cut myself while I was cooking!
Him : Oh.. salamtek but look at my TOE I think it’s MILTEhebeh

And SO ON… eventually.. he wins.. somehow.. and I end up having to get up.. and DALEL.. instead of sit there and have someone DALELni..

wa gul3a6 ygal3i6ni..

DID I just type all that??

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Arab Women #25: Feet pictures on Instagram

Not food, not natural scenery, not even boobs: It’s feet. That’s right. That’s what Instagram is used for by Arab women in the Middle East.

 

Not sure if it is a fetish or is it a result of absolute boredom, but that’s what you get when you follow Arab girls on Instagram: daily giant picture of their feet.

So I thought of uploading something like this in response ;)

 

Dirty feet

 

 

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Arab Women #24: Blonde hair and fair skin

البيااااااظ

All my life I have heard sentences like ” ماشالله بنت بيظا و عيونها زرق”( she is white with blue eyes) or شفتي محلا ابنها عيونه ملونة” (she had a lovely boy with colored eyes). They have this standard of beauty which I believe is based on ideas we still have from  3asr il al jaaaheleya.

( age of ignorance)

I have a relative (dark skinned) “SAMRA” *crowd GASPS

tut tut tut

someone says  : la 7awla wala quwata illa bellah (omg)

*storms in and throws shoe at that CRAZY PERSON! WALKOM SAMRA In my EYES IS SHAGFEH!  (dark skin is hot to me!)

So this relative used to complain to me that when guys wanted to come to propose they would not come back the next day because she is not ” baytha wa shaqra” (white and blonde)

and well going through this over and over again her mom started telling the ladies who call “

“!!انا بنتي سمرا و قصيرة” (my daughter is short and dark!!!!)

toooooooot <– sound of line hanging up

in my family I was the white child.. and my sister was the samra(dark skinned). I remember that even my own mom would use phrases like ” ya fa7ma” you piece of COAL when she got mad at her !

which is DISTURBING on so many levels!  That a mom is so blinded by these ideas that she doesn’t see the beauty of her own child! Growing up being subjected to such treatment is just wrong on so many levels! I still believe my sister is GORGEOUS wa a7la mini be alf mara(much more beautiful than me) but  it’s just this ARAB mentality (il mutakhalif )that makes people think this way!

Can we imagine how Snowwhite would look if she was BLACK??

I remember my grandma almost had a heart attack when she found out I was going to TAAAN! * ya khabar ESWED wa mnayel (holy crap!!)

I admit that I myself TOO prayed that my daughters have colored eyes and growing up I remember wearing green contacts once. I believe even I have been brainwashed and it’s hard to erase years and years of people feeding all sort of ideas into your mind. I believe that you can’t help but have these thoughts because you hear them every single day. In your home, in social events, wherever you go. But this idea that being fair skinned or having blue eyes makes you more beautiful and desirable, is just NOT right.

There are many WHITE people in the world that are FREAAKehhh <– said in scray whispery tone

Look at Merlyn manson for ex. He is very white. yet very scary.

Look at this Freaky CatWoman lady with 10000 meet malyoon surgery done on her face?!

Maybe the only natural thing in her is her fair tone, blue eyes and blonde hair. Yet, if you see her in the street BETNGAZO! ( you will be terrified)

I am not saying being blonde and fairskinned is not pretty or that being born with a darker skin or dark eyes is prettier. What I’m trying to say here is that God created us beatiful the way we are. Every person is beautiful in their own way.

Look at this crazy  TONOREXIC MOM  for ex. who has taking “Tanning” way too far. She was arrested for  taking her  kid to a tanning booth !  She was so obsessed with changing her kids skin color too! She believes her color is great and that she looks GREAT!

*eyes wide open 

*looks at people around her making faces ino hay il marah MAJNOONEH(what a crazy woman!)

Maybe this lady is an extreme case but how many of us spent hours and hours Tanning to get the JAY LO color only to get the BanDORO color?

*raises hand in shame

I believe the standard of beauty is different depending on what culture you live in. In India, you find all the ladies are buying fair and lovely. Tryin all sorts of products to be whiter.

In Indonesia, my ex maid ( Allah yakhudha il b3eeedeh) used to say that she used to scrub her daughters face with a special soap to make her whiter

In the philipines, woman believe  body hair  and facial hair is SEQQseee (sexy)

Aaah MAgandaaaaaaa

In the states you find that there are many peeepol wid blue eeeysss and

* why im i still tawqing in pilipeeeno aqqqsenttt

So . I was sayin in the states you will find many are born with fair skin and blue eyes and they don’t really have the WHITE- BLUE EYED CRAZE! 

the phrase ” you are such a blonde” is an insult as blondeness is linked with having a low IQ or being air headed!

I think it’s all about what is Avaaailaaapolll… oqay I stop the pilippeeeno once I start

In a few African and Asian cultures neck rings are worn usually to create the appearance that the neck has been stretched .The custom of wearing neck rings is related to an ideal of beauty: an elongated neck.

EISH HAL JNAAN (WFT?)?! I personally see this as freaky.. but look at her smiling like she is HO2 ho2.. il su2al.. do they take these rings off when they sleep? and if they DO does their neck just dangle down as they hold their heads in their hands?!! *BETLAGLEG??

In China  Foot binding was seen as a sign of beauty and attractiveness. Once a girl was of marriageable age, prospective mother-in-laws would come around and pick a wife for her son by the appearance of the girl’s feet.Bound feet were thought to be so alluring because they were always hidden. Bound feet were covered in bindings, socks and shoes and then doused in perfume and scented powder. They were then hidden under layers of leggings and skirts.

you can read more here  Chinese Foot Binding

so if i go to china and they see my 41 Size FEET they will probably have a heart attack

So in QonQlooooshon… White is Butipoool… Dark is Byoootipol.. Black is Byoootipol

Throughout history women have had to endure horrible things to be deemed beautiful. Surgeries, skins treatments, creams botox injections and so one. We all want to be beautiful and accepted in our cultures. I believe this will never change no matter how educated you become. There will always be this TaKhaluf ( backward way of thinking)

Just don’t try to hard to change God’s Creation because you will end up looking like this freaky lady or il mar7oom micheal jackson. Know that sometimes your beauty from within reflects on your outer appearance. Know that beauty is not about the color of your skin or eyes.

And yes my baby has blue eyes and I still do admit  feel I got bonus points in the family when I hear them praise how she is “mlawaneh”

“Shuftiii Bent crazy lady 3neeha zarga.. followed by BAS LAMEEEN LAMEEN!”

ya3ni even when I get the blue eyes you want the SOURCE

Anyhoo..  GAZAZTKOM. haha :P

and as Chrsitina Aguilara sang once.. and i never thought I would quote her..

*sings

You are BEUATIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY  !!

*someone pulls out cord from MIC and no one can hear me singing in the mic.. Anymore :S

Posted in Arab Men, Arab Women, Art, Beauty, fake, fashion, love, Marriage, relationships, sentimental | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Arab Women #23: Diet Pepsi

The fitness and dieting bug is well and alive in the Arab world. Everybody is trying their best to get that ‘look’. However, not everybody is doing right.

 

While I’m quite sure this trend isn’t specific to the Arab world, It’s just worth mentioning that there’s a myth that goes like this:

It’s okay to eat like a pig as long as you have Diet Pepsi with your food.

 

Diet Pepsi

 

PS: Article written and suggested by a friend :cool:

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Arab Women #22: Fake

                       

 So.. Faknes.. How many anyone of you know someone who is FAKE?!

* everyone in the crowd raises his hand! YES and im not talking about cosmetic surgeries here, not talking about implants and all sorts of weird things people do to themselves im talking about people who are hypocrytes and have multipersonalities.

Thier TASTE or OPINION changes depending on who they are with.

I remember there was this girl in University who would DATE all sorts of guys and EVERY guy was like totally different from the OTHER! One of them would be into clubbing and drinking and i would here her say things like ” OH YEAH LETS PARTY I love getting wasted” and then like a month later she is talking a guy who I was surprised FELL for her since he was considerably religious and doesn’t even DATE! I heard her talking to him saying things like ” Oh I WANNA GO TO HAJJ and I swear she did this *eyes tearing move!  *GASP

OH… mashala al iman nezal 3alieki?!! hassa3?! what about last night when you were shaking your bootay in DA club with 50 CENT??!

WAalak ya 7maaar is7aaaa hay il bent say3aaaaaaa

la amal liman tunadee.. wege3 il zalama wa ma 7ada sama 3alieh

So what I’m saying here.. there are all sorts of girls in the world but many are unfortunately of this KIND! And this KIND of GIRLS are the ones who GET THE GUYS! They know how to PLAY them! MEN LOVE Witches :P

I’m sure there are guys like that too. There is also another type of FAKE.. here is an ex..

I know a girl who is from GHAZA.. *image of kids throwing rocks comes to mind

my mom is from ghaza.. so is my husband..  AGDA3 NAAS.. but well this girll she married a LEBENESE GUY… and like when I see her now she suddenly forgot how to talk FALASTEENI

WALEK YERHAM JADEK IL KAN FEL 7aklaat ma3 Siiitti wa Sittek

Why change who you are? Are you ashamed of your palestinian ACCENT?!

In your head are your thoughts in LEBNAYNE? or FALASTAN!?

People Embrace who you are.. Don’t be someon else to IMPRESS Anyone.. And know that if you LIED to get someone to FALL FOR U.. eventually the REAL you will come out and if they DON’T like it you are in DEEP BURAAAZ

Simply just Dont be Fake! its a piece of CAKE!

homer simpson voice : cake yumm

*crazy mom does shakhra ghazaweeya with pride to end this post

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Arab Men and Women #12: KFC

It’s finger lickin’ good!

 

KFC, how can you miss it? Walk by any mall, or in any busy city in the Arab world, and that KFC smell will penetrate through your lungs.

You know you love it, even if it gives you diarrhea each and every time you have it, you still love it. You know do.

Arabs have a long time affection and love for KFC, but I must say that this affection is most notably seen in Egypt (and Sudan), but mostly in Egypt. When we say Egypt, we mean a HUGE population, thousand years of history, and influential media in the Arab world. KFC is famous in all Arab countries, just the like the rest of the world ;)

Arab men should blame KFC for the man boobs they have, and Arab women must be aware that KFC contributes to the size of that junk in the trunk that seems to only get bigger with time.

This is the oldest KFC commercial in the Arab world found on YouTube, not sure if there’s anything older. This is from the 80s I think

The new KFC commercials are really nailing it, specially with every Arab person now rooting for Barcelona (whether they watch football or not). I’m still not sure what’s the connection between football and fattening fried chicken, but never mind.

Messi, the most loved Barcelona football player in the Arab world, they got him to ask people to eat KFC in ARABIC!!!

Watch…

 

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Arab Woman #21: Marriage

My first post here.. thanks to h3m1ny3w who invited me to post here…

So what is the most important thing to more than i believe 90% of girls. straight girls.. oh wait ,even gay girls now want it.. MARRIAGE!  We are brought up in a society where ever since the day you are born you here the famous da3wa ” آلله يبعتلك ابن الحلال” followed by a troubled sigh of worry ” هم”

هم البنات للمات a famous saying in the Arab World meaning.. girls are a trouble and burden from cradle to the grave?)

I remember I was so obssessed with marraige even at a very young age for all I know I was in KG1 and I would propose to kids in my class.. I would say.. “MARRY ME” to the chinese kid who didnt speak arabic till he ran away with a frightened look on his face to the teacher complaining that I am harrassing him.

And to the other kids that spoke Arabic I would say ‘ itzawazni itzawazni” that kid asked to be moved to a different section and I got many lectures from my KG teacher. and well I wish the obsession stopped there.. it actually got worse the older you get the more stress there is on the subject. and in your head you start truly believing that you will forever be miserable and worthless util you get married!

When I hit the 20′s the guys (عرسان) started coming to our house to propose to marry me and ofcourse you have to be on display for the mom first like a potato bag (kees batata).. I have had so many unbelievable experiences in that department that I will share in future posts but truth is at 20 I really started to feel that marriage is the ANSWER. the SOLUTION.  sings ” Sunshiiiiiinee AFter the Raaaaain

*dj record scratch .. music suddenly stops

Truth is.. THAT IS SO SO SO SO SO WRONG! I feel like for many years I have let people poop in my brain! Stuffing all sorts of crappy ideas and I believe I HAVE TO SNAP OUT OF IT!

So let me go on with my story.. so when i hit 22 I would hear comments like…. oh habeebti .. are you engaged? Me : *nervously* No Them : laaaaaa ya haram ma3 ino wishek 7ilo  ( awww too bad although u have a pretty face)

After that i would feel the urge to cry and feel omg my life is over…

Many similar scenarios.. and well.. eventually after many (stalkers) عرسان that were (weirdos) tu7affffff

I finally DID meet my other half. I call him my taller other half as he is tall like me.. only taller..    LULULULULUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESHHHH

in my head song plays ” AT LAaaaaaaaasssssssssst my Loooooooove has come along”

My prayers have been answered… I will no longer go through an awkward 3arees meeting.. I will no longer face those nasty old ladies checking me out as if I was on display! NO MORE FEAR YOUR 3AREES IS HERREEEE

Don’t Get me Wrong.. marraige is not BAD.. and I am not saying that I am not happily married now.. I am just saying that from the first day we are born we are built up and our minds are full of all sorts of ideas about marraige that we truly believe that IT IS THE ANSWER!  We base our facts from Cheesy movies and love stories we see on tv. We believe in 7ub il “TEETANIC” like that Cafe in AMman that opened after the movie was a big hit.

So.. Truth is.. You WILL have the same problems you had before marriage if not more because with marriage come greater responsibilities . You are now the LADY of the house! ( set il bayt). I remember when I cleaned the house for the first time after we got married. To me I was like ” WOW I ACTUALLY did the dishes, the floor the laundry and COOOKED! * pats self on a back. Only to the shocking reality when my husband came back home and didnt say anything. Like it was my DUTY. Like it was EXPECTED of me! I remember when I did the dishes at home ( when it was my turn, it was either me or my sis) I would get a loud praise (الله يرضا عليكي)

followed by a chocolata or anything that made me feel like I DID SOMETHING!

Not Anymore.. now its like .. you cooked and cleaned and managed to make yourself presentable.. TOZ. MY mom did that.. All wives do that.. you want me to thank you everyday? kolo wala MY MOM.. liesh ma itzawajt your mom? (Why didn’t you marry your mom?)

you come from a house where your parents bedaliloooki.. ( pamper you) get you all you want. you probably hardly do any housework or cooking. No big responsibilities and suddenly you feel like CINDERELLA! only your PRINCE is more likely to make you shine his shoe or throw a shoe at you before he runs around looking for his princesses.

Cause what you have to know is a man leaves his parents home also expecting nothing to change. His mom probably doesn’t make him lift a finger at home. She cooks and cleans and sits there all day praising the lovely (groom) 3arees she has to potential (brides) 3arayes. So from day one in his head he is like expected to be married to another version of his MOTHER!

* nods sadly شايفين بالله؟

So you might even be more traumatized when you get into a marriage with this mentality because in reality NO ONE is perfect and the first 2 years are the toughest. To me it was like an emotional roller coaster! And if you are lucky and your husband is a good guy and you settle your differences and decide to have kids. Your body will inflate and stretch in ways you never knew were possible. Then there is the stretch marks and breastfeeding ( bagara 7aloob ) phase.

You will feel like you were hit by hurricane. You will be so tired some days from the daily errands you have to run, whether its waking up for night feeds, cooking, cleaning and so on, so so so tired that you might even have a nervouse breakdown and look like this lady here..

wasn’t marriage supposed to be about holding hands all day long.. cuddling and watching movies together while you sip on hot chocolate under the same blanket?

wasn’t the man supposed to be getting you roses and making your life easier rather than breaking your heart a little everyday by not appreciating all the you do?

marraige and kids makes your forget yourself. you lose yourself. you live for them and realize there is no longer a YOU. You are now a Wife and a Mother. A Crazy Mother I might add and truth is you will miss having time for yourself.

I wish someone told me.. before I got married. that marriage is just a stage in life.. and not an answer. There is good and bad. and hopefully the good outweighs the bad. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so shocked and disappointed. And Believe me I am lucky to have a married a very Good man.. but still.. even Good Men

MEN SHAAAN ALLAH STOP IT WITH THE OBSSESSION! IF you are SINGLE.. ITS OKAY!! actually PLEASE ENJOY IT! Travel! Enjoy being single and KNOW that you should not get married for the sake of getting married. Do not Settle. IGNORE those POOPLE.. poople not PEOPLE from the temendous amount of POOP in thier heads… And We are a new generation were woman are educated and INdependant And we dont NEED to be MArried we CHOOSE to be married. okay??

I have been married for over 5 years now and I have 2 lovely daughters and I am happy hamdulilah I just think it would have been a lot easier for me if I was realistic in my thoughts and expectations before i got married. It would have made my life much easier.

 

 

BEACE OUT

 

Posted in Arab Men, Arab Women, love, Marriage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Arab Men and Women #11: Canada

Every single Arab family out there have at least one member who is “Canadian”, and usually this “Canadian” individual doesn’t even live in Canada. In fact, a lot of those Arab Canadians have only been to Canada once in their life!

Oh Canada!

So why Canada?

Here’s few facts about Canada:

Arabs don’t know anything about Canada. Heck, you bet your arse they don’t even know what the capital of Canada is, and frankly speaking, why should they? It’s a quiet country that’s miles and miles away from the Middle East.

What Arabs DO know about Canada is that it’s a country that gives away passports! That’s the only reason some Arabs choose to go to Canada: to get a foreign passport. You can’t blame an average Arab who go through hell to get a foreign passport because it makes life much easier.

The world in the eyes of an Arab

The world in the eyes of an Arab

 

While there is a huge Arab community in Canada, most of the young Arab guys who move to Canada end up coming back to the Middle East. First, they move to Canada blindly, not knowing a rat’s ass about Canada, just to get citizenship. Second, they freeze to death. Third, from a financial point of view, most Arabs prefer to settle in Arab countries where they can make more money. Lastly, most of them don’t enjoy the Canadian life style (Canadian lifestyle? LOL).

Suddenly, Canada isn’t that attractive now is it? That foreign passport is not worth the cost!

Oh wait, thanks to American TV, some Arabs now know something about Canada ;)

Posted in Arab Men, Arab Women, Immigration, society | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Plea from “Stuff Arabs Like” writers

First, I just to say that we, the man and woman behind Stuff Arabs like, are alive. Well, almost ;)

I want to apologize that it took me long time to read the recent comments and approve them. But I have my reasons, bear with me.

First, let’s all say congratulations for the female writer “Poky Face” who got married and is now a mother! Congratulations! Mabrook!

Sadly though, she’s not writing here anymore. Which means, I need a female blogger to write here with me! If anyone’s interested, please leave a comment, I will contact you!

Secondly, myself, the male writer  (h3rm1ny3w), I had some life changing events too. Contrary to what happened with Poky Face, I actually went in and out of a relationship, among some other life changing situations. But hopefully, I’ll be back on track soon enough :cool: And boy do I have some good stuff coming ;)

Now, to answer few of the comments. For those who left positive comments thanking us, I’m glad that you enjoyed the blog. The purpose of this blog is for fun, and only that. I hope we left a smile on someone’s face. That’s what it’s all about.

For those hateful comments, calling us racists or self-bashing: Well, you obviously don’t get the point of the blog. Try to understand the purpose of the blog, and maybe try to let go of some unnecessary sensitivity. Somebody made a joke about your culture? Big deal! get over it. Don’t be offended by stupid things, you’re better than that. If you don’t like this blog, nobody is forcing you to read it. We know we’re writing with the best of intentions.

So people, let me know what you think! write a comment on this post, and let’s hear you out :cool:

Posted in Personal | 3 Comments